What a Difference A Week Makes

Well, since I am procrastinating still, I might as well blog...I know this one is long but you should read it all the way through (speaking mainly to J on this!)...

What a difference a week makes. If you would have talked to one of my parental units last week, they would've thought my life was in shambles, leading to a dependence upon some type of drug [well I was on antibiotics last week, but that's besides the point :-)]. With all the work that was upon me, and just a pure unhappiness with my condition, I was buckling, hurting, angry. The difference of moving, the pressure of maintaining holiday events with the youth, the papers, the tests, the amazing pressure from women (oh wait, I don't have that problem, I'm too busy with the prior things) was unheard of. I found myself shaking my fists at God, saying let's do this thing! Of course any fist fight with God would be comical, as I would be punched into oblivion, far worse than being vaporized by a nuclear bomb. And then the weekend happened...And as I was giving a message about peace this past Sunday, God was speaking to me more than anything. And I have been getting to know my new roommate, I have discovered my ability to laugh again. Things have just been falling into place, which attests to the hope sermon I gave the week before.

And now I talked to my paternal unit today, and sure enough he said these words, "Well you sound a lot better than what you were." I realized my voice was calm, relaxed, and purely happy. I wasn't snapping nor clapping...oh wait I meant that in a tonal context with my voice. I wasn't angry, I wasn't rushed, I wasn't dying. It's sort of weird considering the tone of the semester, but here I am, living, breathing...only because of God. He got me through, in a way I could never imagine. He has blessed me with a great life, a great living space, a cool roommate who shares my name (it's confusing when his girlfriend comes over), a great youth group, a great family, and some awesome friends. What a difference a week makes, but God is great, He's awesome, even when I try to disagree...and that is a great thing. If you are in a hard time, know that God will get you through, whether the result is great or not something you wanted (I'm unsure of just one grade this semester), He will get you through, He will keep you, He won't abandon you, He'll shake you up, but that shaking can be awesome for you, for your life, for your character, for the people around you, for your ministry, for your call. Suffering creates character as Pastor Hankins said some odd years ago (the one sermon that has stuck with me for years). Be encouraged for our God is Great!

Every Pastor I Know Knows About This...and I LOVE THIS CONCEPTUAL VIDEO!!!!

Moving and Family

Wow, what a doozy of a weekend...Thanksgiving...spending time with friends (that are like family)...and moving...wait...moving? Yes you heard me right, I am now done moving all my stuff to my new apartment in Gladstone, MO, much closer to the church and in the land of milk and honey...lol. So I'm ridiculously tired at this point...for reasons not just pertaining to moving and turkey, but I have been fighting off something as well this weekend. THE TRIPLE WHAMMY! So every bone in my body is tired...

But as I was finishing moving today, I realized how thankful I am for the people in my life. Everyone at the church...the Harris's for including me in their family...and everyone who has supported me. So it's been great of what God has done. I am extremely thankful that He has given me the opportunity to be in the North KC area and I am hopeful of me and my new roommate's friendship.

Ok...well I'm finishing the time by watching Little Miss Sunshine, and of course I am loving it. Til next week my dear friends...oy!

Doughnuts and Cold

Well it was 17 this morning as I got into my car...lowest it's been yet since I have come here, but it really isn't that bad at all...What is bad is the people who maintain the vending machines here at NTS...as I planned on enjoying great pre packaged doughnut sticks...well I started eating one, not planning...and after that first one I realized the date on the package was Oct. 11...keep in mind yesterday was Nov. 20...and I looked at the second doughnut stick and saw little green spots all over it, not just one, but like chicken pox...so as you could guess I have not felt as great as usual...but I think I'll be over it soon...

Matt and I went and looked at places on Wednesday and found a great place in Liberty, however, we're going to look at one more apartment complex tomorrow...it might be a little cheaper and it would have a washer and dryer...we'll see...I'll probably be moving by next weekend...probably the big shopping day we'll move...

Otherwise my head is barely above water with everything going on...I have to finish a paper this morning and start another's research this morning...oh and the boxers are still a pain.

I got my Mojo

I totally have my mojo back, and if you assume this deals with women, it really doesn't. Rather I remembered how to write and actually care about it! I'm working on a Philosophy of Religion paper, and of how many weeks I dreaded to write it, I now am enjoying it. Of course the funny thing is that writing this blog entry is taking time away from it...so not being very efficient.

Ok...so I might have gotten my mojo back too with women tonight...and by that I mean I'm really tempted to ask this girl out from the Midwest Seminary here...and she does counseling...which is really what I need anyways. So if I have a date by the end of the night...it will be complete...

Another thing...boxers are starting to get annoying...I have to constantly rearrange myself...

And one more...talked to a guy named Matt yesterday about potentially being a roommate...it went well...and as long as the reference checks out...we'll be looking at places next week and moved up north by Dec!!

So life is good!

On the brink...

On the brink...could mean many different things...on the brink of an amazing discovery...on the brink of extinction...on the brink of victory....on the brink of defeat...

Quite frankly...I'm on the brink...

I really don't know what but looking at my prior blogging...it's probably negative...as I seem to turn to this thing when something is happening that I do not understand or dislike...but that's history...I could actually be on the brink of something good...

If you think I'm talking in circles on here...you should see what my mind goes through everyday!

In any case...no new job yet...saw a place to live last night, it was what can I say? A big fixer upper. We have a new president elect...feels good to be on the winning side...but not so good to see closed thinkers to certain ideas...and not so good to see people so in love with him...I am not in love with Obama...I think that would be awkward for Michelle...sorry had to throw a joke in here at some point...

In any case...God is teaching me to lean on Him more and more each day...which really stinks considering He's not a physical entity...another joke...but at the same time shows a lot of truth in my life right now. So as I finish out this horrid semester (I hate the subject matter)...I'm hoping for a good second semester...or I will officially go mentally insane...and then the blame game with God will start...j/k...

The Longest Friday Morning Ever...

So my mom is town...and we're going to hang out and have some fun around good ol KC. However I have had to work this morning...and it.......is........taking............forever!
I mean I don't tend to complain about my job here at the library (that won't be here in December), but why does time have to be against me today? And then like a snap of a finger after work today...the time will fly...it's inevitable...

Oh well...otherwise life is grand...I don't have to adjust my boxers today...I've gotten some extra money this week...BJ beat Thomas in a weird practical reenvisioning theological question for some weird project...you know...the usual...oh yeah and I get a home cooked meal tomorrow night!!!!!! Woohoo! Ok now I only have an hour left here...things are looking up.

Aight...it's time to blog

Just completed my last paper before R & R (Reading and Research) week and it feels great! So what will I do? Write...some...more...ok so I'm not always the smartest person when it comes to doing thing chronologically!

I am in the middle of a marathon...but thankfully the front end is loaded with work...and the back end is loaded with fun. I just finished the front end so now tonight, I will be going with some of the teens to Worlds of Fun to enjoy roller coasters and haunted houses. Tomorrow we have a youth event of a autumn sort so I look forward to that. So I'll be running around all over town this weekend (thankfully gas is a mere $2.47 here).

But Sabbath is upon me...sort of...as next week I will have no classes. It will be very nice, plus the maternal unit is coming in. I just hope she doesn't buy a purse while she's here (if you know my mother and I's arguments (not really serious)...it's usually about her getting a new purse). I look forward also to when my paternal unit comes out here next spring to hunt. So family will come here or there.

Other big news...I am no longer going to pursue a Master of Divinity degree. After thinking about it (consciously and sub-consciously) and discussing it with Dr. Spaulding...I will be a Biblical Studies M.A.T.S. there it be!

By the way I hear thunder when it is 47 degrees out...there is something seriously wrong with that. Otherwise not much else is going on...oh and for those who haven't heard yet...I got laid off from the library so I have to find another job and I will likely be finding another place to live because hopefully I can get a job closer to the church therefore I can move closer to the church. (sounds like one of those guys at the end of radio commercials, prices and participation may vary, etc.)

Meyers Briggs Crap

Well if you ever wanted to know my personality...here you go...


ESFP - "Entertainer". Radiates attractive warmth and optimism. Smooth, witty, charming, clever. Fun to be with. Very generous. 8.5% of the total population.
Free Jung Personality Test (similar to Myers-Briggs/MBTI)

A Tired, iPod Listening Moose Because He had to Run from Sarah Palin

Well the Moose is tired. Mainly because I have been running from Sarah Palin all night (she hunts moose). That's ok though...she's cute...and there's nothing like a cute killer coming after you. I have no idea where that came from...I think it was because her voice was somewhere in my dreams last night...with which I woke up thinking...was that a good dream or a nightmare? Of course this didn't help with the late time I went to sleep and the place I slept last night (on the floor, I sometimes do this to help my back get back in line). So I'm tired today, yet joyful and excited for is to come over the next few weeks.

Next week, the youth and I will be going up to a food pantry to help out during our youth service. I am really excited about this, because I didn't know that they would be so convenient about it, because the services are on Sunday nights, but sure enough we are. So God is doing some awesome things at the church.

He's also doing awesome things in my life, as He has given me something I did not expect. Let's just say I feel a lot better about life when I get to talk to people. We'll leave it at that. Also another thing, my iPod directly affects my quality of life, believe it or not. (If you haven't heard I recently went out and got an iPod because my old one broke) This gives me a great outlet for the very silent days at the seminary. I can listen while I am doing work. So yeah...life is much better...not to mention my prayer and devotional life is back (except last night...it was really late). I find that my devotions are coming through...wait for it...I can hear the guns being loaded by some of my classmates...the Message. It's the only thing I can enjoy because it's like a book. So I enjoy my devotions from the Message. If you have a hard time with devotions...try that instead it's great. Otherwise...just tired but happy and ready. I'm out.

You Deserve a Little More...Way to Normal

Well I feel like I cheated everyone by writing about the state of the nation the last time I wrote. So you'll get two blogs this week. If you don't like it...oh well...

Life is much different compared to the beginnings of this blog. I'm happy, ready, energized, and quite frankly much better. I think there was something in a breakdown. There comes a point where when you finally breakdown, you feel like you can start over, so I'm sort of doing that. Thanks to the maternal parental unit for listening in that breakdown (as I have no lady friend to share such things...I'm still looking *looking at ladies in my most flirtatious look).

In either case, God and I are on better terms. And I feel that is being replicated in my work and ministry (yeah just in one week). The Element went really well this week, and I'm really excited about what's going to happen at North Star. So yeah...life=better.

You know what's really funny about living out here? Time flies. It's not like everyday you have to go to class, but the time between classes flies by, which means a week flew by, and you didn't even know it. I'm already looking at the calendar realizing my series on the fruits of the spirit might end perfectly for advent...yeah...I said it...I'm already looking at advent as if it's almost here. And even worse, is I'll be planning for the spring months for the youth group by next month, yeah, next month. So time is flying, which means I'll be 23 really soon, then the back pain will really start.

I will leave you with this...Ben Folds releases his new album tomorrow (which I already have) and it's called Way to Normal...in any case...while he may deal with certain stuff differently than me...it's always good to hear people get some stuff off their chest about their life situation (he recently went through a divorce). That's what I was going through in the first few months here...I was on my way to normal...and I think I finally got there.

The most political thing I ever wrote...some opinion...some objectivity

Hello everyone!
You will find me well on this day...and for the days to come, as I have understood some things that I haven't since I got here to KC. Thanks to mom for a good talking to. Have a busy weekend with a parade tomorrow with the church, it will be fun I'm assuming. I am looking to get an iPod soon...as my old one died and I'm realizing how much I need music. And that decision comes with a little anxiety for the reason being the economy. Here's my take on this whole situation...and sorry if this became a political blog to you...this situation just drives me nuts...

Warning, I did go on a tangent in the middle of this commentary...but it's a good one.

Who are these people leading the banks? Seriously? If they are so tied up in their own greed, why don't we just let them fall? Oh yes because we have money in these banks. People like you and me are suffering for an illegitimate system of greed led by these CEOs and people at the top who thought, let's make money even when we shouldn't. And so they oppress us by giving us ridiculous loans that should not be given out. When President Bush said 5-6 years ago that more people more than ever own homes now, we now know why, banks were giving out loans they shouldn't have left and right. Because without oversight, things that should be as stable as loans and homes go to crap when companies dodge regulation and do things they know they shouldn't (and don't tell me they don't know). I am not blaming anyone...I just want you to know this. It was all our faults, we took the loans (because we don't read the fine print), the banks gave the loans (because they want to make money through deception), the government turned a blind eye (both sides), I blame it on our system known as capitalism, I blame it on our republic (it's not a democracy people). If there is any blame it is everyone. I have said it before in the past 4 years since I became a knowledgeable person...captialism doesn't work, it is the least stable and it will fall.

And so now we are in this pickle, in the middle of the stinking Presidential race! No matter who you support on this, everything that has happened in the past two days with the legislative branches and the two potential executives with the President has been all politics. Right now they are supposedly working together...it's bologney! Nobody is leading! Nobody! Here's my thoughts on this bailout...

We are no longer capitalist after this bailout. The very people saying we should not waste money and not have big government is doing that same thing. This is sort of ironic. If you are a conservative, Bush should not be your guy, neither should McCain as he proposes the same tax cuts and same wasteful spending on an unnecessary war. Don't vote for Obama though, as he will raise taxes on the richest (not anyone reading this blog, as I know none of you make $250,000) and begin to focus on us and the right war (if there is such a thing). So you conservatives just sit back this election for vote for a third-party candidate (wow, that would be revolutionary). Liberals can somewhat rejoice, as Obama has plans to do some big government things to help the poor and middle class, but he isn't the best (for liberals) either, as he preaches personal responsibility (that's what conservatives usually preach). So you have two candidates that are more in the middle than ever, what should you do?

Vote on the war. Vote on the economic plans. Vote on the energy plans. Vote on the plans that will help most of the people you know. Don't you dare come up to me ever by saying you're voting for someone because of their stance on abortion or gay marriage (civil unions), ever. Why? Because there are more important things in this world. Abortion can be stopped, but it's not through the government, it's through you and me, taking care of that woman who thinks of doing it. Gay marriage isn't supported by any of the candidates, but even if it was made legal, that doesn't mean we as a church have to marry them!!!!!!!! The couples just get tax cuts and the ability to see each other in hospitals. Gay marriage adopted by our government is just a piece of paper, it is not our sacred institution given by the church. Our way of thinking, God's way of thinking in marriage will not be threatened.

So vote on the issues that are plaguing this country...the economy...the war...the energy crisis (by the way, offshore drilling will just give more money to the oil companies and less abilities to figure out a better way to fuel this country...I know my stepdad works for a refinery, but he's not going to be out of a job by voting against offshore drilling)...the environment. None of our constitutional rights will be infringed upon by either candidate (guns, etc.) unless you want the Patriot Act (that would be McCain). So go and vote...on something that matters...and help the world where it needs help (see above).

Back to the financial bailout commentary...

The ways of dealing with this economy are polarized and pathetic...
Conservatives you're going to have to deal with it...your way of governing doesn't work (it proves itself right now as it has over and over again). Liberals your way doesn't work because it's not capitalist (which does usually help but again not capitalist). So what do we do? We either need to change our government or change our economy. We need to stop being so consumeristic, and start contributing to the world. This bailout plan doesn't do that. Instead we are only feeding the machine that will die. If we don't put regulation on it, I, YOU, MY FRIENDS, WILL PAY CEOS TO CONTINUE TO DO WHAT THEY DO, KEEP THE MONEY AND LET THE REST OF US DIE. Sure they may give to charities, but how many of those are to the people struggling even in this country? I'm sorry, I'm not paying my government to keep the rich rich and the poor poor. So here's the deal, if we want to stay capitalist, don't do the bailout. I disagree with the stinking thing anyways, these people should go to jail, not get more money. If you want to see this country limp, that's right limp, do the bailout, but please don't give money to the CEOs. That's just stupid. The biggest question for all of us is how much oppression do you want from these corporations as they infringe on our rights as people, there should be regulation, there should be justice. And right now I don't see that in just giving money without rules, and if someone sees that we should just pass the money to the corporations, you are naive and stupid (and I will not retract that statement). I root for the democrats on this one, if both sides are agreeing we need the bailout (in a perfect world we wouldn't have it).

There are some people here who say that Canada and Europe is not a good place to live, as it is socialist. The universal health care provides long lines, that the government is too big. Well my dear friends, our country has a government as big as them, it's just in a different market. I'd rather live there then here at this point. Maybe I should move to Canada, at least they have good doughnuts and coffee, Rush, and of course hockey. In any case, you have heard some of my opinions and some objective commentary. I stand independently. I am no conservative, I am no liberal, I am no democrat nor republican.

Look at the issues, not the pigs or the pitbulls, go vote.

Stepping on Kids and Eating Good (these have nothing to do with each other...for I'm not a cannibal and would never eat a kid)

Well it's Friday everyone...you know what that means...party! I don't know where but I think it happens on Fridays...in any case...

The week has gone much better...life is getting real now...and my adjustments have been made (stinking boxers). I've been making a few more friends and it's cool. I will say this though, nurseries still make me a little uncomfortable. I was hanging out at the church the other night and I decided to help in the nursery (at this point I was incredibly bored and did not want to go home to an empty house). The kids loved hanging out with me...I still did not know why...I guess I'm good with kids...just afraid of stepping on them. In any case, that shock treatment did prove to me that I can be a parent someday (just not right now, not that this is the case as you need a wife for this to happen...and I am lacking). Work at school is getting routine, and that is nice because that means I'm managing my time well. The next few weeks though will be incredibly busy, which I'm ok with...before you know some parental will be out here after these few weeks, and that will be cool.

Otherwise, life is good and constantly getting better. I eat out a lot by the way (as when you are as busy as me, you tend to not want to cook when you get home) and I had Greek yesterday...it was good...maybe that's why life is good...I constantly am eating good!

Til next time...oh crap I have to adjust my boxers again! C-ya

Yeah I have two today...gotta lot on my mind

I live a life out in KC that is somewhat bland...yes I have an awesome job as a youth pastor and that is not bland at all! But what makes it bland is the routine...I'm looking for something to put me out of routine...maybe that's why I want a motorcycle...but it would be something to shake it up...I'm finding out what a pain in the butt I am when it comes to living life...because I get bored...

I'm looking for something right now...I want God to kick me hard in some direction, or give me some crazy journey to embark on (a relationship wouldn't be a bad one God!)...that's why you got the really emo post last week...I'm starting to get bored because there is nothing to kick me out of the routine...I hate routine...I hate living life on a schedule...This is why I love thrill rides...my want of a motorcycle...my want to go sky diving...or bungee jumping...

There is no thrill here in the city...it's shopping...that's it...maybe some get their thrills through getting drunk here...but I don't see that attractive at all...there is no beautiful land to look at and have your breath taken away...maybe I need winter...or I need to move to Alaska (not for its governor!)...that's why I feel so lonely here...there is no way to embark on some random journey with someone! So there you have it...I psychoanalyized myself for you this week...and gave you a sermon...now I should go write that paper that is due next Friday...but then again...next Friday is a while away!

It still hurts...but

Hello all,
Yes it is that day...the day we remember the people who died on this horrific day 7 years ago...and it still hurts.

In fact we had a service of lament today at the seminary...and well...I found that I really didn't need that extra reminder of this day...it still hurts...

And even though we brought up many different things that we care about like sickness, oppression, and those who have passed...it still hurts...

But how often do we need to be reminded about our current condition as humans? Isn't the world depressing enough? I mean last week's post should surely prove my point in my own life...it still hurts...

Then we think...where is God in all of this? Does He even care anymore? Has He turned His back to us? Shouldn't we see something better out of God?...it still hurts...

But at the end...the end of our time...the end...there's something better waiting for us. Suffering, death, evil, is not there. No, it can't be there, because if it is then our God has failed us, He is not God then...then all our suffering is in vain...Christ's suffering is in vain...no...that can't happen...

Because the God I know is not a God of suffering, He takes care of the poor and oppressed, He helps us when we suffer, He is a loving God...something that humans don't understand without Him...He is the God of Abraham...He is the God of the apostles...He is the God of you...me...that person and that person...you see God wants to see us through, He always has...we just get in the way...Let my pride fall, my prejudices, my labels, my presuppositions...and let Him show love...not just to me...but to everyone...even when we fall...He raises us up...to do good...to show love...to be holy...and because He does this now to me...to you...to His people...I know that the future is bright...not because of the last book of the Bible...and surely not because He knows what we as humans will do with everything (because if He did, and I believed that then I would be a Calvinist)...but because He is the Omega, the end, the eschaton...He holds the beginning and the end...both were good...and so as we move closer to the end...may we look for the good...the world still may hurt...we may still hurt...but the end is so much better...when we will be healed...

So at the end of the service...we reminded ourselves of that end...the good...that God holds the future...not certain events...but just the end...that's what we need to remind ourselves of when we suffer...that God in the end wins...and those with Him will win with Him...

What is up with me? Why would I put such a post up? Because I need to be reminded, not of the crappy stuff that has happened to me and gives me baggage for the rest of my life, but of the good God gives today to me, and tomorrow...maybe I can live my life a little bit better reminding myself that God holds the end...not us...and that's a good feeling to have...that suffering, death, evil is not the end...but that God is the end...it's not about us...it's about Him...

This just spilled out of me...no intention to write this...but I think God is putting a message in my hands in a more complete way...this week I'm talking about the Elements of the Christian Life to my teens...Nooma 03 I think inspired me a little bit (go watch it)...and while those Elements are essential what's more essential is how we use those elements for the good of the end...for the Kingdom...for the end

It still hurts...but look at what God will do!

Clarification

If you as a church member of North Star...read the last post...please realize I love you guys a ton...and you have helped me majorly...and I thank God that He has placed me with you.

Well...since you want to know what's going on...

This blog will be updated (hopefully) each week. Some of you know how bad I am about this...some of you will find out. But here's the deal...I'm going to share what's going on in my life for all of you back at home, at Trevecca, or wherever you are after Trevecca, or wherever you are after hanging out with me in high school, etc. etc. etc.

If you haven't heard yet, I'm in Kansas City, attending seminary, part time youth pastor, part time library worker. As of right now I'm procrastinating...horribly...I need to be reading but today is not one of those days.

If you must know...it's hard to live in KC...not the long drives to get anywhere...not my church family as it has welcomed me so well...not the roommate...it's just hard to live here when so many are far from me. You know who you are...who I miss the most...I probably attempt to call you at least once a week. I think too that I don't have some constant person to talk to...some one to share with. And maybe it's because I'm living with some regret from times at Trevecca. Regret from not appreciating the people in my life as much as I should have. You never know what you got til it's gone.

Some of you may ask...why don't you make new friends? I have, a few. But they're hard to find in a city like KC. For better understanding look up inner city pressure by Flight of the Conchords on YouTube (this is quite funny).

While I may find some community here at NTS...I don't want to. I had my first class the other day and while I found it interesting to meet some new people...for some odd reason I did not want to get to know them. Completely odd for me, but I think I'm longing for some people back at home (be that Warren or Nashville).

So pray for me...I would appreciate it. Many of you know how I hate to be lonely. Pray for my ministry...we're doing some big things this week.

Wow...and I thought I would have nothing to write about.