Incredibly Grateful

Today I found a Christmas card on my desk, unsigned. Such an act is something wonderful, something generous, something that is of God. There are moments in ministry, in my life, in the church's life that people and God will surprise you. Today is one of those days and I must say I am incredibly grateful for that. Whoever you are, thank you. And thank the good Lord for His faithfulness and call to people to do amazing things. Merry Christmas to you and I appreciate you for everything (and I am not just speaking to the person who put the card on my desk but all who are a part of my life).

I Have a Wonderful Love for this Place

When I found out I was moving to KC a year and a half ago, I would've told you I'm going to be there for just the time of school. I'm going to get out of there asap, move on, go closer to home after school, etc. However that has certainly changed. Last night I got to spend some time with some guys from my church, both older than me, married, and have kids (of course I do this every weekend). And in that moment I realized how much of a family I have here in KC. Not biological obviously, but truly in North Star. It's an awesome thing to say that I truly love living here with my church family. I have no idea what lies ahead after school, but I know it's going to be incredibly hard if God calls me elsewhere. I must say I'm incredibly blessed by God to have such wonderful people in my life and I am very thankful for that. So thank you to all of you who have welcomed me in your life here in the NKC/Liberty/KC area. I love you all so much and am ecstatic to be here with you.

Sitting in Class...

As I'm sitting in class on this rainy Thursday morning, I am realizing my hair is getting really long. When my hair is edging my view of the top of my Macbook, I know it's getting really long. You may be wondering, this is no profound observation and I am just wasting my time reading this blog, which is definitely a feasible thought, however I must point out that hair growing simply shows the profound construction of time and that time is flying by (how my hair always sneaks up on me). So the question remains to get it cut or not? You probably don't care so I'll get off the subject.

Speaking of time flying, I am hoping that the next two months really fly. There are several reasons for this: class will be over for a little bit, I will get to go home to see family for Christmas, my current lease will be up, and finally snow will be coming down (hopefully) rather then it staying to the west in Denver (2 feet of snow, that's awesomely ridiculous). I must say this October has been one of the busiest, ever. And while it has been enjoyable, there have been some very stressful points that I'm looking to leaving behind.

There's a few thoughts for you people out there that may read this...if you want to read my thoughts in real time, I suggest subscribing to my Twitter...http://twitter.com/mmslater08. Til next time, may time be subjectively advantageous for you whether that be fast or slow and may God use you in those times in the interest of His Kingdom.

Youth Blog > Personal Blog

So I blog every week...but not on my personal one. Which is sad, but at the same time shows my devotion to the youth site rather than my own personal webspace (I'm not bragging, but you can see the other blog on http://nsyouth.com). Or maybe I do not blog anymore because of my love for Twitter (as a microblog is constantly blogging). In either case, you blog watchers (note watchers on Facebook) have been neglected, and I am truly sorry for that. So I will give you something to read:

I will give you my thoughts on my disconnect from seminary, as it has grown over the past month. Some of you may think, it is your own fault...we never see you in chapel...you're never around...you must spend most of your life at home doing nothing. How I wish this was the case. I find myself constantly busy between school, ministry, and lessons. And I love this busyness. But in the busyness I must find myself to sacrifice some type of thing...and that thing is the community at seminary. Granted I have several new friends I am hanging out with in the Commons on class days, but as far as extra-curricular activities with seminarians on a regular basis...nope.

It's not really your fault, nor the seminary's, nor my own. It's just a natural disconnect when one lives a life differently from others. Most single off campus seminarians are like myself, busy with ministry, school, and work. Others who live on campus have a social dynamic that is similar to college, which I don't have and can't force in my life because of distance. And the rest of you are married (love you married people to death as oftentimes you feed me, yet there is a slight disconnect of how life is married and single).

And so all NTSers, sorry life just moves on without our amazingly awesome relationships that could be if I was closer in proximity, or if I was married. I pray though that the few moments I do spend time with you all, that we cherish, understand each other, and most importantly love one another as family in ministry. Because this is who we have to look to in the future, the people we go to school with, our colleagues. So I hope we can get to know each other not on just a theological level but a personal level so that we can go to each other in the future.

There you have it...my little diddy about why I'm so antisocial...or not antisocial at seminary.

For those looking for an update on life: I still live up North near my dearest church, I am constantly putting church over my schooling, and single as always (not necessarily a bad thing...or is it? lol). Currently my schedule allows me to be free most Fridays and Saturdays (evenings)...so please ask me to do something sometime (especially you people in Nashville :-) )

Finally, I have spent probably my life savings over the many different CDs this past month and you should look into some of them:

For awesome worship please please please buy David Crowder's Church Music

For the alternative people: recently bought Muse's Absolution and Arcade Fire's Funeral (older albums but must owns for the alternative fan...or music fan to begin with)...and please don't neglect Kings of Leon

For you Christian music lovers (that don't always sound Christian): Relient K's new one and Derek Webb's Black Eye (get it from his website for the song with s*** in it)...and don't forget Needtobreathe's The Outsiders for your Southern tastes

There...an epic blog post that not only explains my current social situation but also suggestions for music...you people should be happy...and if not...boo on you...lol.

I'm out

-Matt

A Summer of Transformation

I know it's been a long time since I visited this little piece of web space, and a lot has happened. If you haven't heard or seen, I'm back being single, which is a good thing, considering the break up was completely mutual. And while I've been away from school for a few months, life has never let up. I have never found myself so busy with a ministry before. Part-time? No thank you, I would rather be doing tons of stuff for God, which of course allows me to question, why go back to seminary? Still figuring that out.

But there were some really bad moments in the past few months. There are points in life where your life just sucks. This was me even just a week and a half ago. But in all honesty, I was in a rut for a while. Personal demons were showing up again, life was becoming bland, ministry was just a job. But God has been showing me my blessings, and that my life was still not about myself (even when I was thinking I was sacrificing so much). The culmination of change was seen in this past week during Mission Week, when I saw so much work being done for the Kingdom of God by the teens. It's in those moments where you feel proud as a youth minister, your calling is being fulfilled. And in seeing these moments, I found out I need to get my act together, I was humbled. I need to start denying myself a little more. I need to appreciate those who I already have. And I really felt that when you're given an applauding in the middle of worship. I was humbled (and I teared up). I feel like I've arrived, in a sense. More understanding my calling and life and more ambitious than I have ever felt for North Star. And so my energy is there...and so not there for school right now.

Am I forcing school? Am I being lazy in my lack of aspirations for a Masters? I'm unsure right now. But I know God is using me in great ways at North Star, and that is exciting and humbling.

Ah yes...I forgot my other form of narcissism

ah...my blog

where have you been oh my blog?

I have neglected you for too long my blog...so therefore I will indulge your need for my narcissism

It's been what...a month...a little longer since I have blogged...I really think my micro-narcissistic tendencies are more enjoyable on Twitter than blogging now and days.

But I will update you people in the blogosphere...

Final two weeks of school for this spring semester...been very busy with that....

Enjoyed the 30 Hour Famine with my teens as much as I could enjoy it...I love food btw

Looking forward to coming home over the Memorial Day weekend so I can see some family and retrieve my girlfriend...that's a funny way of saying it.

And life is just plain busy...reasoning why Twitter is so much more enjoyable to me...

In any case hope your life is going well...you can look forward to my narcissism some other day...lol

I Have Much To Do

I remember the days of Easter Break, the Warren Co. way of doing things. We wouldn't have a complete week off for Spring Break, rather we would have random days off with a shorter school year than the majority of the population. Easter Break was looked forward to. And here I am, an adult, a minister in the church, and there is no kind of break in sight. Granted, I enjoy working for the Lord, but I must say on the other side of things, we as ministers might not be able to celebrate this Holy Week as we should, gathering people for extra services, doing special things in service. I mean after all our senior pastor as to preach 4 times this week. While he will enjoy it I'm sure, it is a lot of stress. Plus with the oncoming slaughter of assignments due soon, this week is even more busy. I'm going to be ok. God will take me through, but this is a moment and will continue to be a moment of wishing I was a kid again...deep breath...ah...

A Different Light to My Step

So I'm not going to go completely mushy, because everyone knows how much I enjoy that from other couples but I wanted to blog briefly on a comment made by a person at the seminary.
She said, you can tell you like her a lot, there's a certain light to your step...and you know that was probably one of the greatest things said to me, because I do have a great light to my step because I have spent the past week with a wonderful woman, who laughs at most of my jokes, cooks with me, surprises me around every corner, and just cares. I too care for her, and it's a wonderful thing...and I can't wait for the summer.

Ok...now that I've talked about my great mushy stuff about being with Amanda...our week has been great...there have been some relaxing moments...some stressful moments planning out and doing things with the youth...and just some awesome moments, the birthday was awesome Amanda, Chris, and Danica! Thanks a ton! But here was our rundown:

Toured KC
Toured Liberty
Enjoyed Olive Garden, Smokehouse, Sheridans, Red Lobster
Cooked two meals including Ravioli and my chicken
Watched some comedy routines, Stranger than Fiction, some of the Dark Knight, and Lost
Worked on church, school, church...etc...while she filled out job apps.
Helped lead worship and had a great Element
And yeah...it's been a great week!

A Lot Going on at Once

Well these past few weeks have been a doozy. It seems like since my weekend in St. Louis at Morning Star, I have been on the fast track to do everything in the world. So I figured I would get some rest this week, being Reading and Research Week, however I figured wrong. Between getting a lot done at the church for the new format of ministry at the youth, being with families during some tough times, and not to mention my wonderful girlfriend coming tomorrow, I have been busy to say the least. In any case, I'm looking forward to at least 3 days of R & R with Amanda. And even though the days have been jam packed full with tons of stuff, I feel good because I know God has been in the mix. Today was a perfect day of that, while there was some extra stuff I wasn't necessarily ready for, I knew God was with me and with the people I was with. In other words, today is a day in ministry that you feel fulfilled as a person in ministry, and I am happy for that. Much love to my colleagues in ministry everywhere!

A Theological Construct on Watchmen

If you haven't guessed, I have been reading the graphic novel and seen the movie twice, the first for the sheer enjoyment and awe of such a piece of art, and the second for an analysis of one of the best graphic novels/movies ever, and as some say one of the most important pieces of literature of our time. Now if you haven't seen it nor read the book, it should be ok, as I will be vague about the particulars of the story.

First of all, this movie and graphic novel is exactly what that word is...graphic. It's a rated R movie for a good reason as there are many adult themes including a stylized scene of sexuality, different scenes of nudity (you see a blue junk a lot...), bloody violence, that of which is no different from really any other rated R movie, and quite a bit of profanity. Why is this in such a piece of art? In my opinion it is a part of the dark characters that make up the Watchmen. If you are in the youth group and are considering watching this, I would think twice. If you are a parent of a teenager who wants to see the movie, be forewarned that is the graphic content in a movie or book worth the dark critique it offers? I will say it is a great movie/book, but use caution in what you see/hear...

Throwing that aside...Watchmen is a great character story mainly in its explanation and revealing of characters' pasts and psyches. The characters all seem to have some kind of flaw, shattering the perception of "good" superheroes. While the novel may point to say that all superheroes have flaws and are much darker than someone like Superman or Spiderman, it's also a critique on man. The hope we have in a superhero that has a human nature, just like the rest of us is fake according to Watchmen, for humanity is dark and carnal. This is shown through not only the pasts of the Watchmen, but the present actions of the Watchmen. Even the man who has the most power is subject to its nature whether it be detachment or intentional ignorance of the troubles of the world and at a point gives up on humanity, while some of the others are willing to do anything to solve the troubles of the world. And the other a complete confidence in justice...

However all the attempts of the "heroes" in Watchmen are in vain, as they cannot solve the problems of the world because of oppression by the government of heroes, and the unwillingness of the public to be saved. And so some hang it up, some go into hiding, and some go to individual vigilantism. But when the world is on the brink of a nuclear Holocaust, they all respond, according to their own psychological profiles. And yet their attempts to correct the world, to make peace in the world either comes through chaos, violence, or lies. And so we see the real joke, humans cannot save themselves...they cannot create peace without violence or deception...they are all doomed because of their human nature. And so hope for heroes, in the world of the Watchmen, and the real world is vanity.

And so it is in this philosophical construct that I will point this movie of graphic material to God. Man cannot save itself...and of course as Christians we should rejoice in such a conclusion because we believe the same thing! Humanity cannot save itself...in fact the Bible through its graphic material of adultery and violence shows this to the very extent! And so it is only through God can humanity be saved, because man can only create love and peace out of its own destructive tendencies. We may feel that we are doing the right thing by creating peace, but it is only in vain, as love and peace can only be found in God. Even in Watchmen, the closest figure to God is Dr. Manhattan, but because he still has human nature, it shows that any power by man cannot provide earth's salvation, which is a great critique on the nations of the world, that any power whether it be technology, or the Tower of Babel. How pathetic we are as a human race!

And so Watchmen is a critique on the illusions of humanity, the illusion that we can save ourselves. And so I say to Christians...Rejoice! For those in the secular world are picking up on this...and it offers a great venue to talk about how our dependence on God is the only way to live in love and peace.

While I offer just a small bit of Watchmen, as there are many different layers to this (I may have other analyses)...please ponder...please think...that we are pathetic and cannot save ourselves, but only be saved by God.

Weekly Update

the weekend that was: spent a lot of the time reading or studying for seminary and/or church, quite frankly it wasn't a bad weekend because I actually decided to go to some coffeeshops to do the work, I also redboxed some horrible movies and would not recommend Max Payne to anyone nor Saw V (I have seen all the other ones and figured I had to be loyal, this one was just bad and even predictable, which means it has nothing left as a series)...had Danica's great chili though yesterday and it was oh so good...and worship was awesome yesterday, in fact I expended a little too much and last night's Element went well, but I was wiped yesterday...and in other news the Element went great with 16 teens, which is pretty big for us...

where i am at the moment: doing laundry, doing homework and wishing it was two weeks from today (R&R week, same week Amanda is coming)

on my to-do list this week: read about 100 pages with a 1500 word page due tomorrow, sermon writing, finish monthly newsletter, lessons, and watch Watchmen on Friday (major priority)

procrastinating about: taxes and homework and going to the bank

book i’m in the midst of: 6 right now...4 for seminary...but I'm 4 chapters to finish on The Shack (so I won't be late for the library)...and Watchmen (yep I picked it up last weekend to try to fit in before Friday)

music that seemed to catch my attention this past week: um...maybe Grits (but that was sort of last week)...been listening to a lot of Coldplay doing the homework thing...and a resurgence of Weird Al (for some odd reason) and his Angry White Polka...maybe his best...

how i’m feeling about this week: I'm hoping this week goes well...it's a loaded front end in all honesty...but God is making it work out because we're having staff meeting on Thursday instead of tomorrow...after tomorrow it shouldn't be too bad...and of course looking forward to Watchmen on Friday.

I Hope Heaven is Like This

So as I am sitting here with my roommate Matt, I confessed an interesting statement. I told him that my ideal heaven would be a coffeeshop with Wi-Fi and reading, everyday. And I'm not going to lie, I might have been completely truthful about it. There's something great about relaxing but also being mentally stimulated by the great people online (I read a lot of theological blogs), and the reading of books (tonight read 50 pages in a Luke commentary and likely to start reading more of Watchman [had some extra money and saw it and figured I should read most of it before the big opening next weekend]). So that might be my perfect heaven, coffee, reading, and relaxation, oh and also the social aspect of a coffeeshop; everyone in a coffeeshop is typically in a happy mood. So heaven=coffeeshop. And I'm blessed to have a occupation that allows me to have a few hours of heaven every week....

Weekly Update

the weekend that was: enjoyed some time "off" going to O Fallon, MO where we as a staff enjoyed some time together, which was great getting to know each other, but also to enjoy some new friends in learning about the way they do ministry, I got some great ideas for the youth room as well as worshiping in a great environment, it also gave me another reason why I need a new mac, other wise came back last night, watched the race with the Harris', and slept well back in my bed (as Hilton Garden Inn beds aren't that amazing)

where i am at the moment: doing laundry and some reading for the seminary

on my to-do list this week: thinking about new things in the youth room, reading, worship practice, sermon, the usual

procrastinating about: nothing really at this point

book i’m in the midst of: um...the five I'm reading? still The Shack...I just finished Holiness in the Gospels, which wasn't too bad

music that seemed to catch my attention this past week: still on a lonely Island kick...but something that isn't music that caught my attention...iWork '09, what a great program and I'm hoping to have it soon on a new Mac...hooray for saving money

how i’m feeling about this week: feeling good, as Amanda and I are officially one month tomorrow, otherwise, feeling energized with new ideas for ministry here in KC

Reading Better? or Reading Better Books?

I have rediscovered my love of reading recently. As I continue to be "forced" to read 5 different books at one time for class, I am enjoying them. Of course the question is, am I just reading better? Or am I just reading more readable material? I think I would have to go with the latter, as I continuously enjoy reading about the Bible and ministry (just look at my blog list, which is not complete on this blog) but theology can be some of the most boring or the most interesting thing in the world. So I say to anyone who reads this and may write something about God, make it interesting! Make it readable! Make it practical! Through such readings, people like me enjoy his/her job better as ministers, because we don't want to be hung up on a single theological thread for an entire book, or have a theological concept that cannot be used at all. And so I am understanding God's call to seminary through better readings and better applications from these readings and classes. And so I leave you with a blessing:
May the God our Creator, bless you in everything that you do, may He reveal Himself to you through thinking, and further understanding of His nature, and may He shine upon you in everything you do for Him. Amen.

Beginning of Week

the weekend that was: Spent lots of time over at Chris and Danica's for the Daytona 500 and Kaisa's Birthday party. Had a lot of fun with everyone, it's really like having this big extended family. Also helped Bill and Kay move somethings over at their house and picked up a new mattress and box springs on Saturday. If Friday is included in the weekend, I spent that day getting new glasses and haggling for the mattress...for reference to the new glasses:

where i am at the moment: At Chris and Danica's again! You're wondering...does he even go home? Yes...I'm doing laundry here because it's free and they're just awesome people.

on my to-do list this week: Paper that is due tomorrow, some reading for classes, getting prepped for a weekend in St. Louis, preparing for my first experience with paintball, and lots of planning for Young Christians Weekend, um and whatever else comes my way, give awesome music lessons all week

procrastinating about: well right now the paper, but I'm doing it directly after this blog, I think about calling some people back about lessons

book i’m in the midst of: New Testament Theology about the Gospel of Luke by Joel Green...it will be finished here within an hour and The Shack...which I'm trying to read before bed, but it hasn't worked over the past few days

music that seemed to catch my attention this past week: The Lonely Island's Incredibad...yes these are the awesome songs from SNL by Andy Sanberg and the gang...and yes it is awesome...full of inappropriate humor but genius...my favorite being "I'm on a Boat"

how i’m feeling about this week: I'm hoping this week goes well, it seems to be just a normal week other than the paintball and the weekend trip to St. Louis with the staff...I guess I have some things to look forward to

Nice Life

So I have a nice life right now...I have some great classes this semester...I have never felt more focused in my youth ministry...I am so happy with where I am living right now...and I am now with a wonderful woman of God (Amanda). So I have a nice life right now. God is constantly blessing me everyday and it's pretty darn cool. Otherwise, life is extremely busy at this point. And even my blogging will be lacking this week because I'm not finding enough to talk about or to justify talking about because I have to get going...lol...in any case I'm out.

Jai Ho

You may be asking what does that mean? You may be saying...Matt is listening to the Slumdog Millionare soundtrack...which you would be correct. If you're wondering why I would be doing such a thing...go see the movie and you will understand. There is something great about a story about a child who came from nothing and has a story that is all too horrible yet great at the same time. When I got out of this movie, I thought this should win something because it's not political, it doesn't have a message, but gives a story, a story willing to be heard and seen...it's why we have entertainment. Ok I'm done telling you about this movie...oh and Jai Ho means "May you win".

Bear with me as this blog will be quite random...

Secondly my new plan to lose weight is going well. Now a member of the Maple Creek Athletic and Golf Club, I get to work out 3 times a week (yeah that's right, I'm a member of a country club at the age of 22...lol). I'm also doing the small meals, which I am happy to report after just 10 days I have lost 6 total pounds. No this blog will not become a weight loss blog...but I will likely tell you about my progress now and then.

Thirdly classes have started for me, and while the work is not always welcomed...it's nice to be learning again. As said in the last entry, my life is somewhat different from last semester so...yeah. And in other news, life just seems better. Things are working out. I use less money yes because I don't make as much, but then again I'm not starving (yet). So thanks to those who have always prayed for me and continue please!

Oh and I don't have anything serious with my health, as my tests came back negative for any masses...if you are confused by this last tidbit...call me to find out...lol

Something Different

Hmm...now there is the stereotypical thought about most blogs that have this type of title...but in all honesty...there's something different about 2009. Whether it be a renewed look upon life, or a more focused ministry, I feel my life is going to be something different this year. Maybe it is the constant emphasis on commitment in my preaching and teaching music lessons that gives me this perspective. Maybe it was the well needed rest I received over the holidays and these past few weeks. Maybe it was some type of confidence in certain relationships I have with people. Maybe it's just God ;-). In either case something feels different...something is perceived to be different...

I don't mean to be vague in these sentences above, but it truly is hard to explain. It is no change like a salvation experience or a presidential change, and it is nothing dramatic, but just subtle, like perspectives are interesting again, people are easier to be loved, a hardened heart becoming softer again. While not naive, I find myself looking for ways to be childish in my faith, yet mature (and jaded) enough to know and to do God's good work. I feel a love for my life, more than I did just a few months ago. I feel focused, ready for school, ministry, work, life! And how good is that? God is being great, granted He never stopped. But He is going to do great things this year...I feel it, I know it, I'll live it!

Maybe it was my change to boxer briefs...lol :-p

Blocked!

I'm blocked. Not in life, not in a job search, but in a sermon. No joke, I have this horrible feeling I'm going to repeat myself if I talk about small people in the Bible. I talked about Jesus this past week, and this week I wanted to Moses, but again, it's so hard not to repeat yourself about how great God is when He takes the small people in life. I don't know!

I think I stretched my brain a little too much today...almost too much on my place for the day. Oh well...in other news I have 3 official students for music lessons and it's been great. I think I'm really going to enjoy this. But it will be some extra driving.

And home was great for all who are interested. It was restful but not too restful. My only question is what is going to develop from that trip home? It's interesting to see people you haven't seen for a while and how they act around you, and how much you truly miss them when you see them. And to share their burdens and their joys if not for just a little while. Distance just takes so much, and complacency sometimes settles in that you sometimes forget about those people. But yet when you see them, you know of your love for that person, because you want to share those burdens as soon as you see them. I love my people at home and I wish I could see them more often to share those burdens, but I know God has me here to share burdens with the people I love here in Kansas City.

Ok...I think that's enough from me...